I agree, sometimes it’s not just our upbringing that matters, definitely there are other reasons; but no matter what, family is THE reason. But now, the families are taking a different form; Working mothers, working fathers, and busy children. Now the question is “Is this how it is supposed to be”? With increasing work load, deadlines to be met, stressful Monday mornings, busy weekdays, we have time for everything else… You know, socializing, outings, partying, friends, formalities, the only thing that suffers is our own family.
The last thing I am is a cliché. Usually people are as they do; but I am as I write. And that’s because it’s too hard to decipher my actions. Actions too complicated; thoughts way too complex!
Even though I love simplicity in anything and everything, I have my own intricate issues. For people who don’t know me well, I’m pretty much a very tough shell to crack. I am pretty positive about everything to do with me, and overtly realistic when it comes to everyone else.
Small and unusually insignificant actions make me happy. And they also hurt me, upset me, or annoy me. I might be full of complaints, but one thing for sure, I never hold grudges. But it doesn’t mean I am forgiving; I just don’t care after a while. All I know is that my attitude is right, if you have problems, change yours and only then can you like me.
Blatant predictability bores me to death. If you’re not random enough, then I won’t like you for long. I do get attached to things and that to very strongly; just a bit too temporarily. I might get a little annoying or/and annoyed often. But don’t you worry, it’s just temporary.
Pretence is something I detest, it makes a somewhat uncomfortable. I hate being put on hold. And I love having my way. My ways can be adjustable, but only diplomatically. A plain NO is what makes me hell furious. If you want it your way, you should be extremely good at playing with words. People who barely talk, end up confusing me. With them I eventually will resort to escapism.
The biggest mistake of your life would be to expect knowing me all. There’s a lot about me I don’t know myself. I discover something new about myself every single day. And I have a lot more to learn.
P.S. in above lines, the most used words are: I and me
* Going swimming even before it gets bright in the morning, coming back and cycling
* Spending everyday of the summer vacation with the same friend, talking, playing scrabble and killing time till eternity
* Walking 3 kilometers to escape from college
* Sitting on the scooter with my friend knowing that neither of us know how to drive it
* Having someone wait in the mall while I stand in sun for long with my best friend and watch
the mechanic fix the scooter
* Going to sec-18 w/o telling the warden, and sitting outside the hostel building and waiting to see the response to the apology letter; only to see it coming all torn
* Going just for a crazy drive after dinner each night to have dessert
* Being all ready to sit on a screwed up kinetic honda on a Delhi main road knowing that if it
stops some where we won’t be able to start it again
* Having someone knock my door at 3 in the night when it’s raining like hell and go out just to have a coffee
* Believing someone saying that “Fried Ice Cream” tastes good
* Sitting in the sun for a protest and text messaging; crossing the mark of 100 in a few hours
* Going to Lucknow for a reason and then ending up in Haridwar
* Freaking out all night long and ending up in a five star in night suit
* Having the CCD guys tell us to leave cz they wanted to close for the day
* Traveling entire “New Delhi” just to catch the show of DHOOM 2
* Not knowing how to ride the scooter but going to India Gate to have desi-chat and buy
balloons. Then coming back and forgetting the way; getting stuck in the traffic
* Going for all the morning shows at PVR
* Getting locked outside my own house at 1 in the night and borrowing cell phone from a random labor guy to call for help
* Studying just at the eleventh hour and crack the exams
* The “Oh-yeah-whatever” attitude
* Sitting on wooden planks rested on inverted pots (so called canteen), only to have bread pakoras and get sun burnt
* Hating people, being a brat, throwing attitude, not caring about anything
* Buying stuff from the back door of closed canteen
* Getting all broke and having cheap meals at “Reena’s Restaurant”
* Enjoying going for the job interviews not for jobs but to hang out with friends.
* Getting threats from the college authorities to be thrown out of the hostel
* Coming back from CP late in the night, confusing the auto-rickshaw driver and ending up in
* Being single and blowing 4000 bucks on phone bill
* Betting on chess games at Barista
* Waking up in the middle of the night and going out to hunt for my favorite flavored ice cream
If you have read my previous post, I mentioned that I was trying to know myself better. Remember? Yeah, well, there is more to say on that. No no.. I don’t meditate for that. Just think and try to analyze stuff. I don’t know what I am looking for; or what am I trying to know. All I know is that There is something hidden that needs to be unmasked!
Who doesn’t want happiness, succes, good luck in life? But not everyone is able to find ’em. WHY?? I think thats because its about not what you want, its about how badly you want it!
Ahm!! I don’t know what direction am I heading towards, all I know is that there is alot that I want to write but I am going completely haphazard!! I have never been so vague and un understandable. And you know, I hate being like this. I think I have worsen myself over the last few years. I miss my good self. Those innocent thoughts, those simple ways of living, those selfless emotions, those clear thoughts, those undiplomatic interactions, those blunt talks. Gosh! How I badly i miss them. Is it normal? Or is it that I am not able to cope up with the changing times?
Loosing innocence is an issue of great importance to me. But tell me, how many of us take things so seriously? And, should we be doing this?
Leaving this one with a question for you all to answer….