peace

This post is really a note/reminder to me, but you are welcome to read it too 🙂

I have been very stressed out lately. Not because my life sucks or things aren’t working out the way I want them to. Actually, my reason is quite the opposite. I have great things happening in life. A lot of them. So many of them that I don’t get any time to stop, and take it all in.

Over time I have learned to cope with stress caused by the modern fast-life. The one thing that always works for me is to take a few minutes every day to reflect on life. The good. The bad. The pretty. The ugly. Everything!

Here are some things that work for me.

  • Breathe
  • Gratitude
  • Stay still and quite for sometime
  • Pet a dog
  • Spend time in nature/Go for a long walk by yourself
  • Blow bubbles
  • Write/Journal
  • Stretch
  • Drink a cup of good,strong coffee and feel the tingle in the toes
  • Hugs
  • Read
  • Lie in the sun
  • Bubble baths
  • Avoid negative people
  • Say a prayer (for someone else)

Forgiveness is a funny thing – It warms the heart and cools the sting!

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They say forgive those who hurt you to free yourself from the pain. Of course, it’s easier said than done. How can you forgive someone who broke your heart? How can you forgive him who betrayed you? How can you forgive a cheater? A liar? And why should you? The son of a bitch deserves your anger, hatred and despise. He deserves to be punched in the throat. Sooo hard, that his teeth fall off his mouth like raindrops. And he should feel the same pain he once caused you.

Yes, you wish. But when you are angry with someone, what’s really happening is this–

Right now when you are bursting with anger and rage, the moron who caused you heartache is probably sitting on a rainbow eating skillets or may be got hit by a truck last week; who knows. The truth of the matter is that you guys don’t talk to each other anymore. And if you do, it’s not the same. The conversations are fake, uncomfortable and just plain awkward as both of you try so hard to prove to each other that ‘you’re cool’.

So what should you really do?

  • Suck it up. Really. If you are angry or hurt, just accept it. Who are you lying to anyway? Tell yourself how you really feel.
  • Let it out. Cry like a school girl, scream, punch the wall, club a baby seal, listen to eye of the tiger on repeat, lock yourself up in the bathroom, drink the whole bottle of jack, throw up, and cry-n-scream some more. Do whatever it takes to get the anger out of your system. Just do it.
  • Now that we are clear that you are hurt and angry, and want to kick this jerk in the nuts, next step is to know that you have no control over anyone else’s actions. Everyone acts per his or her level of intellect.
  • No one needs no pity party. Stop telling ‘the story’ over and over again. Puhleez!
  • Make a list – of all the good things that followed because of this awful incidence. You have suffered enough, now its time for reality check. Turn your perspective around and look at the situation from a totally new angle (third-person-view). From this place you will be able to see all the good and some great things about this situation. Write them down. All of them.
  • Time travel – think about that horrible situation you faced five years ago; and how helpless you felt then. How it took you weeks/months to get back to normal after that incidence. Now think about how you feel about that problem today. You will realize that today you don’t really feel anything about the situation that once shook your life. That’s exactly how you will feel about your current situation five years from now. In the bigger picture, it won’t even matter. All that will remain is the lesson you learned from it!
  • Untie yourself. At this very moment, what is the connection between you and the person who hurt you? The grudge you are holding against this person. This tie is not letting you move on. You are stuck, in the past; in an ugly situation.
  • Forgive yourself first. Don’t be too harsh on yourself. When we are hurt, we all make mistakes. You might have had too. You deserved a chance to do something foolish and not be judged; at least not by yourself. You are still awesome. And when the clouds part, you will so more awesome things in life. It’s just a matter of time.
  • Every time you catch yourself thinking about ‘the fiasco’, wish that jerk well (don’t call, just do it in your head!). Seriously. I know you’re no Gandhi, but by now your brain have been poisoned by anger and other negative emotions. It needs to be cleansed by calm and positive thoughts. The first twenty (or maybe 200) times this will feel insane, but don’t quit just yet; 201st time the wish will be heart felt. And this is when you will be at peace.
  • Always remember – by forgiving the fucktard, you are doing yourself a huge favor.

“Forgiving is not something you do for someone else. It is something you do for yourself. An unforgiven injury binds you to a time and place someone else has chosen; it holds you trapped in a past moment and in old feelings”– Carol Luebering

P.S. This may need a lot of practice, but it’s absolutely worth a try!!

30 Days of Giving Thanks – Day 11 – Laughter

Today… I am thankful for the laughter in my life. I want to thank every person, thing and situation that brought me happiness and laughter. The ability to laugh at trivial things is truly a gift; it makes life more content and enjoyable. Laughter shakes stress off and gets all the negativity out of the human system, at least for the moment.

November – 30 Days of Giving Thanks

There is never a bad time to be thankful for little joys of life! For approaching thanksgiving day, I want to start a routine to be grateful every day; for all the little and the big things that make my life so joyful and abundant. One of the many little projects that I had started few months back was to write down, each morning, what I am grateful for and what were my intentions for that day. As the novelty of this practice wore off, I became more and more irregular with time. So to get back in the routine of giving thanks, I want to start a challenge to give thanks everyday, for thirty days – they say practice everyday for 30 days makes it a habit!

Rules –

  1. Everyday I will post about one thing I am thankful for
  2. Join me to thank the universe for all the joys – Do it in the comments below, on your blog, on a chalkboard or privately in your journal

Thank You! 🙂

Dear teacher, may I have my dream back?

“Learning is not done to you. Learning is something you choose to do.” ~ Seth Godin

Education makes an individual a better human being. I think it should be mandatory for everyone to go to grade school at the least. Besides the basic know how of the world, school also inculcate in us various invaluable traits; like discipline, team work, curiosity, analytical skills and many more. Being surrounded by teachers and fellow students makes us inquisitive about life and instill a desire to learn and grow. The experience is supposed to create the foundation of our life and make us who we become later in life. Schools are great.

Having said that let me clarify that what I want to talk about in this post is not how awesome schools are, but how ridiculous our education system is! Instead of doing what schools are supposed to, this is what’s happening – Schools are preparing students to be a future employee at an organization. In the process, they are helping build the students some important characteristics that their future employers would want them to have – obedience to rules, not questioning the authority, following instructions, following a defined pace, being easily trainable and such. So technically at the end of each school year, the result is not smart passionate young adults, it’s more like a batch of trainable zombies.

In the process of learning the employer-desired traits, what do we lose? The traits society needs to grow and become stronger, intellectually and culturally. Traits like awareness, commitment, honestly, independence, innovation, creativity, originality and many more on the same lines.

Schools are not doing a very good job of developing students’ minds. The exam patterns are based on the lower learned minds. The study material is the same for every student in the class. Money is wasted teaching geometry to students who will either quit school (because they were never taught commitment) or end up become a philosophy major (because that’s what they like to do). There is no way to customize curriculum per student’s interest and taking into consideration what he/she wants to do in future. Dreams are destroyed in the process of mass-production of future factory employees.   

Everyone in school is taught to play safe; because taking risks is scary. If 100% of us had followed that rule, innovation would have been long dead. Google, Apple, Facebook, Enterprise etc would have never been created. If every one of us had taken the ‘safe’ path of graduating college and taking up a nine to five job, there would be no start-ups, no self employment and we would all have given our future in the hands of our employers. 

I am not saying, don’t send your child to school. You definitely should. All I am trying to say is – that yes, in the long run we need a revolution to change the education system, but right now we can try to help the kids to analyze the options, tell them the truth and give them a chance to chase their passion. Take just one moment to think – what are you teaching your kid? To be a superstar trainable machine or… a passionate dreamer. The future is in your hands!

Further reading: Stop Stealing Dreams by Seth Godin