peace

This post is really a note/reminder to me, but you are welcome to read it too 🙂

I have been very stressed out lately. Not because my life sucks or things aren’t working out the way I want them to. Actually, my reason is quite the opposite. I have great things happening in life. A lot of them. So many of them that I don’t get any time to stop, and take it all in.

Over time I have learned to cope with stress caused by the modern fast-life. The one thing that always works for me is to take a few minutes every day to reflect on life. The good. The bad. The pretty. The ugly. Everything!

Here are some things that work for me.

  • Breathe
  • Gratitude
  • Stay still and quite for sometime
  • Pet a dog
  • Spend time in nature/Go for a long walk by yourself
  • Blow bubbles
  • Write/Journal
  • Stretch
  • Drink a cup of good,strong coffee and feel the tingle in the toes
  • Hugs
  • Read
  • Lie in the sun
  • Bubble baths
  • Avoid negative people
  • Say a prayer (for someone else)

Non-negotiable checklist for my future lover

I am dependent on checklists. You can blame it on my poor memory or on my desire to always perform with utmost efficiency and perfection. Ramit Sethi didn’t help any by recommending The Checklist Manifesto by Atul Gawande. Whatever you pick as the excuse, the fact is that I live my life based on checklists. And damn right; I have a checklist for my future lover. So dear Mr.Future Lover, read on…

You should have a desire for personal growth. I don’t care about how dashingly hot you are. Or if you made a million dollars last year. Or if you are ‘the dude’. But I do hope that you read a little (books, internet, newspaper or something, anything). I hope you have personal and professional goals that you regularly work on. I hope when you achieve those goals, you set up some new ones. And I also hope that you respect my personal growth journey – cz I can tell you it’s not ending anytime soon.

You should be a mature human being. I know every man reading this is saying “Of course I am mature”. But really, are you? A serious relationship comes with great responsibility. I really hope you have made most of your major mistakes in life, learned from them and moved on. I hope you are self aware and strong – you will face new challenges in life confidently and will be the support system for me as well. And if we disagree upon something, which I’m sure we will, you should be able to disagree gracefully without holding grudges.

Respect my family. Accept my family. Mine might not be a perfect family; but whose is? We have our flaws, we have our problems, but at the end of the day – we are together and there for each other – no matter what. You would need to become a part of this mess. Get your hands dirty. And listen to my occasional rants. (Don’t tell me I didn’t warn you.)

You must be an explorer. We don’t need to have same interests and hobbies. I mean let’s get real, I will never be able to enjoy sports like a man and you would never enjoy a chick flicks like a girl. But as long as you are up for trying new things, traveling to new places, going to restaurants we’ve never been before and just exploring life and the world – you can be my man!

Sense of humor is a big one! For me cz I like to take things easy and find good humor extremely attractive. But for you too. If you can’t look at little things and find humor in it, your life with me might turn out to be extremely difficult. I am silly and a lot of times I can be a super awkward potato (I love saying awkward potato). And the best way to deal with it I’ve found is to just laugh it off.

You should be a kind, compassionate and respectful human being. You need to love me unconditionally – that comes without saying. But in addition to that, you must also be compassionate and respectful to people, animals, choices, religions and situations. Now I don’t need no Dalai Lama; but if you are an insensitive douche, it’s just not going to cut it for me. Sorry.

You should have a stable life. Not only financially, but also emotionally.

And last but not the least – We need to be attracted to each other. Notice I said WE. If I am attracted to you and you are not, I am going to find out (cons of dating a smart girl) – and of course, vice-versa.

P.S. I know it’s a gender unbiased list for the most part, but I am really hoping that my future lover is a man. Just a personal preference.

2013 resolution – Smile and be happy. That’s it.

After much thought and anticipation, I have come up with my final resolution list for 2013. Yes, about time.

I declare 2013 as the year of happiness! This year, I pledge to do anything and everything to make me a happy girl (Cz happy girls are the prettiest *Batting Eyelashes*).

Here is the first ever manifesto I made. I call it the happiness manifesto. If you too relate to this, feel free to print/download/link-back to it 🙂

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What are your resolutions for 2013? Care to share?

Have a wonderful, joyous and magnificent year ahead! XOXO

2012 Report Card

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There are two kinds of people in this world: Pro-resolution and Anti-resolution. To be honest, I couldn’t care less what category you fall into. All I know is that I am pro-resolution. Here is the list of my 2012 resolutions (and 2011 resolutions if you’re interested). Like I mentioned before, 2012 was a tough year for me. Let’s look at how I did overall…

#1 Travel more often – Check

2012 was year of traveling for me. I worked as a training consultant for a few months, which in simple terms means traveling four days a week for work. However, I don’t count that as traveling really. Traveling has a lot deeper meaning for me. But hey, my trip to Spain counts… Yes it does. Along with other trips within the country (e.g. San Francisco, cross country drive from Oklahoma to New York, New Orleans etc).

BONUS: My all new and improved travel blog is alive!

#2 Learn a new skill – In progress

Do conversational skills count? Estoy aprendiendo a hablar español. And I still need to work a lot on this!

#3 Make a difference in someone’s life – Check

Raised money for CRY-America on my birthday. Like a bawz! Insert ultra cool smiley here.

#4 Spend more time with Mother Nature – In progress

I don’t know what to say about this one. I try, but I could try harder.

#5 Try vegetarianism for one month – Check

See this.

#6 Meditate (more) – Check

I planned on getting Ekam. But guess what, I got Kriya and Fourth initiation as well. Yes that’s how awesome I am! Thank you. 🙂

#7 Read more often – Check

Finished reading twenty books in 2012! Feel free to browse through my reading list on Good Reads (on the right) if you’d like.

#8 Create an inspirational thinking space – In progress

There shall be a whole separate post about the challenges I am facing with this one.

#9 Start living a healthier and happier life – Check

I don’t think anyone can ever check this off of their list. Cz no matter how much I do to be healthier and happier, there is always going to be more potential 🙂 I marked checked it because I am definitely healthier and way happier than I was in 2011+early 2012.

#10 Do something impossible – Check

I think this was not a SMART goal to be put on my resolution list. But if I had to pick one thing that was uber-difficult for me to change, it’d be to quit impulse spending in the name of luxury. I think I did pretty good on this one actually. I became a minimalist. Although I still need to perfect the skill. It’s a process. A really long one.

So looks like I did great! Ima try not to break my arm patting my own back.

How was 2012 for you? What are your goals for 2013?

P.S. Next post will be a brand new list of resolutions for 2013. Yes.

Forgiveness is a funny thing – It warms the heart and cools the sting!

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They say forgive those who hurt you to free yourself from the pain. Of course, it’s easier said than done. How can you forgive someone who broke your heart? How can you forgive him who betrayed you? How can you forgive a cheater? A liar? And why should you? The son of a bitch deserves your anger, hatred and despise. He deserves to be punched in the throat. Sooo hard, that his teeth fall off his mouth like raindrops. And he should feel the same pain he once caused you.

Yes, you wish. But when you are angry with someone, what’s really happening is this–

Right now when you are bursting with anger and rage, the moron who caused you heartache is probably sitting on a rainbow eating skillets or may be got hit by a truck last week; who knows. The truth of the matter is that you guys don’t talk to each other anymore. And if you do, it’s not the same. The conversations are fake, uncomfortable and just plain awkward as both of you try so hard to prove to each other that ‘you’re cool’.

So what should you really do?

  • Suck it up. Really. If you are angry or hurt, just accept it. Who are you lying to anyway? Tell yourself how you really feel.
  • Let it out. Cry like a school girl, scream, punch the wall, club a baby seal, listen to eye of the tiger on repeat, lock yourself up in the bathroom, drink the whole bottle of jack, throw up, and cry-n-scream some more. Do whatever it takes to get the anger out of your system. Just do it.
  • Now that we are clear that you are hurt and angry, and want to kick this jerk in the nuts, next step is to know that you have no control over anyone else’s actions. Everyone acts per his or her level of intellect.
  • No one needs no pity party. Stop telling ‘the story’ over and over again. Puhleez!
  • Make a list – of all the good things that followed because of this awful incidence. You have suffered enough, now its time for reality check. Turn your perspective around and look at the situation from a totally new angle (third-person-view). From this place you will be able to see all the good and some great things about this situation. Write them down. All of them.
  • Time travel – think about that horrible situation you faced five years ago; and how helpless you felt then. How it took you weeks/months to get back to normal after that incidence. Now think about how you feel about that problem today. You will realize that today you don’t really feel anything about the situation that once shook your life. That’s exactly how you will feel about your current situation five years from now. In the bigger picture, it won’t even matter. All that will remain is the lesson you learned from it!
  • Untie yourself. At this very moment, what is the connection between you and the person who hurt you? The grudge you are holding against this person. This tie is not letting you move on. You are stuck, in the past; in an ugly situation.
  • Forgive yourself first. Don’t be too harsh on yourself. When we are hurt, we all make mistakes. You might have had too. You deserved a chance to do something foolish and not be judged; at least not by yourself. You are still awesome. And when the clouds part, you will so more awesome things in life. It’s just a matter of time.
  • Every time you catch yourself thinking about ‘the fiasco’, wish that jerk well (don’t call, just do it in your head!). Seriously. I know you’re no Gandhi, but by now your brain have been poisoned by anger and other negative emotions. It needs to be cleansed by calm and positive thoughts. The first twenty (or maybe 200) times this will feel insane, but don’t quit just yet; 201st time the wish will be heart felt. And this is when you will be at peace.
  • Always remember – by forgiving the fucktard, you are doing yourself a huge favor.

“Forgiving is not something you do for someone else. It is something you do for yourself. An unforgiven injury binds you to a time and place someone else has chosen; it holds you trapped in a past moment and in old feelings”– Carol Luebering

P.S. This may need a lot of practice, but it’s absolutely worth a try!!